One of the most common complaints from women on online dating websites is that the men who approach them are invariably creepy. Even the ones who signed up looking solely for a little carnal action generally don’t take well to being completely bombarded by blunt proposals, and sexual demands. Just because they want to be sexually active, a lot of guys take it mean they are up for anything and essentially auctioning themselves off. Unfortunately, wanting to sleep with someone and having to sleep with everyone are two very different concepts and we get to deal with the fallout. If you have ever wondered why getting laid online still requires strategies, you can generally assume most of it to be the fault of many other people before you making things more difficult than they have to be, flirting included.
Understand the Site You Choose
This is actually a very straight forward concept that is somehow completely forgotten by a large portion of our community. What it comes down to is the simple fact that women sign up for different websites with different expectations of what they want to find there. If it sounds like we are stating the obvious, then congratulations, you already have a leg up on the competition. Here’s how it breaks down. Sites that bill themselves for dating, soul mates, and compatibility attract women who want to have an actual relationship with someone. Sites that bill themselves as casual dating, flings, and no strings attached will generally end up with a few women from the previous category as well as those comfortable with casual sex and having someone on the side in various cities or over brief time periods. Then you have your hook up sites and one night stands. Women go here for spur of the moment sex. Lastly, you have sites that cater to specific kinks which end up a little more community oriented, but generally still attract women solely interested in having some erotic fun. Whatever it may be, the hard fact over here is that you should always know how to attract women. And for this you should know
how to be awesome online. You’ll have to learn some tips, tricks and tactics if you really want to succeed in your mission to get laid.
This is where things get messed up. A woman looking for sex in Quebec City is going to sign up for the websites explicitly tailored to making that happen. That means hook ups, one night stands, specific fetishes and maybe some flings. Guys looking for the same thing? All of the sites. Doesn’t matter what they are for, so long as the area is right or the fetish is close to what they want. Boom. Done. Time to spam users until we get a positive answer.
If this sounds crazy, that’s because you understand the difference between these sites and want to make the best use of your time and effort when it comes to finding the right women for the right mood. Unfortunately, you are working against a history of women signing up for dating sites only to be bombarded by suggestions for sexual escapades within an hour of creating a profile. You are competing against people who log in to a casual dating site and initiate conversations by asking women if they like to be tied up. The fact of the matter is, there really is no way to come off seductive or suave in an online environment based mostly around text, so approaching someone with an explicitly sexual offer is generally going to come out wrong no matter what you do. When you combine it with the fact that most women on these sites are so overwhelmed by often unwanted attention, the chances that you will be taken in any way other than “creepy” are pretty low. So the first thing you really need to keep in mind when it comes to flirting with someone online is simply remembering the type of site you are on. Keep the content relevant to what she wanted to find when she signed up. That means if you are on a dating site, flirt like your mother can hear you.
Tailor Your Message to Her Profile
Whether you are looking for strategies for getting laid or just trying to land a date with someone, taking the time to read what she’s written is going to put you miles ahead of the competition. Keep in mind that most of the women on these sites are under a constant barrage of male attention. Yes, even the ugly ones. Yes, even the ones without pictures. Once they tick the sex or gender box female, all bets are off. The thing to keep in mind here, however, is that most of the guys spamming her with requests for chats, phone numbers and pictures haven’t bothered to read a single section of her profile. They aren’t complimenting her taste in music. They could care less about her sexual preferences. They saw the word “female” and jumped.
That is why she thinks they are creepy. That is why starting your conversation with a comment about her breasts, even if she is on a site for no strings attached dating gets you nowhere. In most cases, unless you are on a site that explicitly caters to hooking up people for sex alone, you need to take a deep breath and consider the information she has already put out there for people to see. What are her hobbies? What kind of outfit is she wearing in her profile picture? Speaking of which, do you have one setup for yourself? All of this makes a huge difference in whether she appreciates your flirting, or just thinks you are another creep among hundreds. If you really want to stand out, take the few seconds you need to read through her profile and start the conversation with a comment that shows you bothered. If you can manage this with a picture attached to your profile, she will fill a lot more comfortable engaging with you than faceless anonymity.
Start with Non Sexual Compliments
One of the most common strategies for getting laid online involves finding a profile with a picture of a pretty girl and immediately winging off a private message about how hot her body is and how hard she makes you. This, generously put, is not a good place to start. Keep in mind that most of this is going to apply primarily to sites for various forms of dating compared to one night stands and other hook ups. However, even for sites catering specifically to sex and getting you some, starting with non-sexualized compliments actually gets you farther in the long run. Women on these sites aren’t dumb; they know that in most cases anyone messaging them is primarily interested in sex regardless of what they wrote in their profile or the boxes they checked when setting up their account.
That does not mean leading with a compliment about her eyes, the flattering way she dresses herself, or her hair is not going to be effective, however. In fact, leading with something that innocuous will stand out all the more amongst the crowd. She is so used to being told about her ability to make us want her that just offering a compliment that only involves her is going to be a breath of fresh air. And, really, complimenting her separate of how she appeals to us is the only surefire way to not seem creepy.